Dog Phunny

[Pharmer Phil]

Dogs letters to God

Dear God,
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?


Dear God,
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?


Dear God,

Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, colt,
the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog?

How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him...is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,
We dogs can understand:

• human verbal instructions
  
• hand signals
  
• whistles
  
• horns
  
• clickers
  
• beepers
  
• scent ID's
  
• Electromagnetic energy fields
  
• And Frisbee flight paths
  

What do humans understand?

Dear God,
.................More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?


Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God,
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember EVERYDAY to be a "good dog":

• I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up
  
• I will not roll on dead skunks, fish, coons, etc., just because I like the way they smell
  
• I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food
  
• The diaper pail is not a cookie jar
  
• The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps
  
• The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff
  
• My head does not belong in the refrigerator
  
• I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration
  
• I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet
  
• Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello
  
• I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table
  
• I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house
  
• I will not throw up in the car
  
• I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet
  
• The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise
  

........................it's usually not a good thing

Dear God
....................................................................May I have my testicles back?

[trudy]

Thats cute! T

[crazy1]

[lilsparrow]

Ahhhh, the poor mistreated creatures!!

[chickenfarmer]

Answer from God to above....

Please be aware that in my dispair, I named you not. But I bestowed you with my name just spelled backwards. Enjoy because you alone are my favorite of all.

[bscamo]

Now , now Phil......there are Greyhound buses.....

I once had a black lab who chased parked cars .

He actually knocked himself out a few times when he caught them

He never chased moving cars but he did love to go huntin' with me.....

[Pharmer Phil]

I neva chase cars either

[bscamo]

Just struts , eh phil?

[ksgardnr]

can I have my testicles back?! Too funny!

[Adeltia]

[Christy]

that was good