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Post by jerseycub on Mar 12, 2013 13:44:17 GMT -6
I'm sure lots of pholks here have known people in there lives who for what ever reason ask your advice or over hear you giving someone advice, and either completely ignore you or interrupt you giving advice to others and say they know better....when you realize they don't know what the heck you are talking about. Well that really makes me laugh at there stupidity, and just walk away shaking my head saying it's no wonder they are so stopped. Just seams to me there are more and more people like this now days, my sister in law being one of them. She is a single mom having adopted a little girl from birth six years ago. She is having problems with disciplining her as the child just doesn't understand what the word NO! means. I have tried to give her some good advice...since I have raised three children of my own. But she feels it's something else to do with it and not her lack of discipline. She asks for advice but doesn't try it when it is given....go figure. Today I finally told my wife that what ever she asks from know on. I'm simply going to say. I don't know. That is the way I feel about giving any advice to people now days. It's a waist of my breath. They already think they know it all anyway. God Bless there soles!!
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Post by Rita on Mar 12, 2013 16:57:19 GMT -6
I really think people ask advice and don't want it in reality ... They wanna hear themselves talk and complain but don't really want any help because they don't want to feel like they are doing anything wrong in the first place ... I honestly have quite a few people I know that will drop by to visit but only to complain or talk about themselves and not give to whoots about a word you say or any opinion you may have ... I don't talk to many anymore to be honest ..
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Post by Laura on Mar 12, 2013 17:08:49 GMT -6
I really think people ask advice and don't want it in reality ... They wanna hear themselves talk and complain but don't really want any help because they don't want to feel like they are doing anything wrong in the first place ... I honestly have quite a few people I know that will drop by to visit but only to complain or talk about themselves and not give to whoots about a word you say or any opinion you may have ... I don't talk to many anymore to be honest .. As far as Phil goes..he never wants any advice..he never asks for it.. maroast I hear complaining all the time where I work..non-stop..makes me a bit crazy. dtb We get very few people who drop by here. Very rare to have a drop in.That is why we live where we do.. dtb
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Post by Pharmer Phil on Mar 13, 2013 4:52:46 GMT -6
That's fairly true..since I started this forum though I find myself asking unknown "experts" for advice.. Most advice was asked of me back home..so I know what you are saying.. most can't hear your reply for the whining anyway... My "go to" line is.. You can only help (or advise) those that want help (or advice) Reckon Most the pholks that used to "stop in" don't any longer because I have to talk to them (and they gots to follow me around) while working on sumpin.. Or I hand them a Hoe... and yeah, it helps living out here..always said: Trouble has to come looking for me out here..well trouble doesn't look for me..but some pholks do sometimes a break/conversation/ and a sit down is appreciated...
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Post by Christy on Mar 13, 2013 7:29:08 GMT -6
JC There aint many 6 year olds who know or want to know what the word No means. She will learn easy or drive her mom into learning the hard way. dtb
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Post by w8in4dave on Mar 13, 2013 7:51:50 GMT -6
Or the 6 yo will be a spoiled lil brat all her life!! I find that these young mom's , my children included really don't make their children mind.... The children run around and do what they want and they get yelled at!! It was embarrassing at the store the one day, Brenda is yelling at Colton and Colton being a Brat!! So I took him aside and had a lil talk with him!! She told me the other day she is going to take him to counseling because of his behavior , I cannot give her advise , because she won't listen to me... SO I just say "Ohh good deal, Thats what he needs"!! I find if someone is complaining about something thats what they are doing!! Complaining not asking for advise!! They want you to listen not tell them how to correct it! So I Zip my lip!!
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Post by jerseycub on Mar 13, 2013 8:12:14 GMT -6
Well it's good to see I'm not alone, I was beginning to think there was sumpin wrong with me. Rita: One thing I would like to add to my question and that is have ya also noticed that people just talk right over you in conversation...half the time ya cant get a word in edge wise. Laura: I like Phils approach don't give me your advice unless I ask. Work place is the worst, I'm glad to be away from that. Phil: Hard to hit a movin target people sure do like to come visit at the worst times don't they. Christy: That is fer sure, problem with her is she has no one else to discipline her daughter, and she doesn't know how. We never had that problem in my home, since I was the bad guy....and to be quite honest that isn't good either but my X was a jelly fish with the children....sooo when daddy got home from work he had to hear all the sh&*^t that went on that day, after having to deal with work, and really didn't want to hear it. So the Children got the lousy end of the stick. And so did the X. That's why she is the X. People in general though just don't hear any thing but there own voice echo in the air like Rita said.
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Post by jerseycub on Mar 13, 2013 8:23:09 GMT -6
Or the 6 yo will be a spoiled lil brat all her life!! I find that these young mom's , my children included really don't make their children mind.... The children run around and do what they want and they get yelled at!! It was embarrassing at the store the one day, Brenda is yelling at Colton and Colton being a Brat!! So I took him aside and had a lil talk with him!! She told me the other day she is going to take him to counseling because of his behavior , I cannot give her advise , because she won't listen to me... SO I just say "Ohh good deal, Thats what he needs"!! I find if someone is complaining about something thats what they are doing!! Complaining not asking for advise!! They want you to listen not tell them how to correct it! So I Zip my lip!! That sounds typical for my grandchildren and my SIL six year old. I just refused to watch my grandchildren a few years ago, I told my son...when you teach them what no means then call me. Haven't been asked since...so I guess they still don't know what no means. I refuse to get involved with raising other peoples children, I raised three of my own and survived that, and sure don't plan on doing it ever again. Put all of mine threw college and they are doing very well thank you. What it took from my life was all I care to endure.
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Post by w8in4dave on Mar 13, 2013 18:05:17 GMT -6
My hubbs feels the same way, But we watch the grandchildren now and again, we tell them to do something we expect them to do it. If they don't ..we say "What part of do this don't you undersatnd!! ?? Go do it!!! And they do .Papa says don't make my plood presser raise as high as my voice! .. Now the older ones Know better, it is the younger ones that need a lil Of Dreama and Papa's time in a lesson it only takes once or twice and they know. Why their parents cannot do the same is beyond me!! Altho I do have to say, my kids were always kinda mouthy with me , when dad wasn't around! If he heard them be mouthy with me , thats when his blood pressure went up!!
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Post by jerseycub on Mar 14, 2013 9:33:48 GMT -6
When it comes to those things that I mentioned about people listening and taking advice it was in general but also I know I made mention of my sister in law.
When it comes to family, at least here, there has been a tremendous change in family values and togetherness. That old family tradition of being together at least every weekend has all but disappeared. Respect for parents is almost non existent.
I hear people say they live for there children long after they are on there own. I can't understand that statement myself. Unless you are flush with lots of money and without any other responsibility....who the hell is going to take care of you? I have three children, and I don't see or expect to see them at our door helping us. They have there responsibilities and we have ours. But the family unit doesn't exist were they get together just to hold family values. That's not how my children were raised yet they choose to be on there own and not be part of family, and that works on both sides, they don't bother with the in-laws or cousins, aunts, uncles. It's just a shame. Everyone is to busy to take the time....so they say, or to wrapped up in there own life to care about anyone else. THE ME GENERATION The most important thing to me right now is my wife and our relationship. When I am shown respect from my children, then they will get it from me. And that doesn't mean live in baby sitter.
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Post by BestoFour on Mar 15, 2013 17:13:25 GMT -6
My sister and I talk about this all the time. Our children will ask us something about taking care of our grand children then totally ignore our suggestions UNTIL one of their friends or the pediatrician tells them the same thing. Example: my grandson had a terrible time with formula when he was first born. They tried him on everything available. Special ordered some expensive stuff. I kept saying to try goats milk. My daughter ignored me. After the poor boy cried day and night for 6 weeks he was sent to a specialist and came home with goats milk. Never had another problem.
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Post by jerseycub on Mar 16, 2013 7:04:46 GMT -6
My sister and I talk about this all the time. Our children will ask us something about taking care of our grand children then totally ignore our suggestions UNTIL one of their friends or the pediatrician tells them the same thing. Example: my grandson had a terrible time with formula when he was first born. They tried him on everything available. Special ordered some expensive stuff. I kept saying to try goats milk. My daughter ignored me. After the poor boy cried day and night for 6 weeks he was sent to a specialist and came home with goats milk. Never had another problem. Ain't life strange?
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