My Best Friend

[Rita]

OK here it goes .. Never shared this with ANYONE ever but here is my life
Beginning Dec 2007
To my Brother with Love

Ever since we were small we were best friends , we only had each other to depend on .
I remember many things about you . Some memories will be lost over time bit no matter what I will remember that you cared for others much more than yourself.
You tried to help out people who needed help without concern for yourself you took care of children like they were your own
You lived on the edge when I could only wonder what it was like to be you . You seen so many terrible things and felt so much hurt and pain of which I wish I could take away Maybe you know how you wanted to be . I see so much good in you for this to be the end of your life with me. Maybe now you are
happy with a life without pain and suffering . I wonder what its like after you die do your really just die or is it more ? Does life go on in a different form ?
I would feel better if I knew you were safe and warm loved and never have to be hungry alone or afraid .
I wish there was a way for you to say “I am Safe”
I will always regret the day not being able to say good bye so Long I sould of come get you on the street .. Some words were said on my part . I couldn’t even appoligize !
All us kids grew up to fast we had to survive in order to live we had to fight . I remember fighting for you many times when toby pushed you into the road and I gave him a black eye. I got in a big fight when Carol Norwood broke your collar bone .. I even fought in death for you!
I guess as your sister I will always know whats best for you because I knew you . You were a great person with great potential .. But all the hurt in your life kept you back all the put down neglect broken promises and lack of love.
I wish I was young so I could have one more try to bring us home so we could be happy and together once again
I kept all your papers notes pictures I hope you don’t mind evertime I see you your so happy and youthful
I miss you greatly My life will never be the same without you

Its been almost 2 weeks now since you have been gone christmas is only a week away . I miss the way you used to show up around the holidays I could always count on it about a week before your Birthday
I will never forget the dream I had about you passing on. All I can do is think about it. Gloria and I side by side crying that I wasn’t ready to let you go .. That was about 4 years ago now
Its always going to make me wonder if someone was trying to let me know what your future held for you, to make it easier on me, Maybe someone was showing me where you would go
After many days of thinking I’ve began to understand how when you love someone as much as I loved you you have to let them go and let memories flow.
I can believe my memories are fare more special and plentiful than anyone else . I don’t know why I write so much I guess it just helps me heal and holds my memories of you , and maybe one day Tylind will grow and read these pages jut to know how special you were. Tylind loved you so much you were his favorite uncle and trying to explain it to a 3 yr old is hard to do but he seems to understand pretty good .
I think he believes your are just far away and will come back a long time from now
I wish I had some answers of exactly what happened to you
I am sure I will never know
I am trying to keep myself together so I can be strong for Ty I know he didn’t understand he would never see you again

Well it’s a week after Christmas and it was alright missing you being home was the worst .. I almost expected you to call or stop by . I wanted to buy you a great presant this year in hopes it was all a dream , But just knowing … I couldn’t hurt ME.. You were always my favorite brother so close to each other ..
I try to keep in touch with Suzie just because of the concern she had for you I have never her heard her say anything bad about you she really seemed to care.
I gave her some things of yours
She finally got the other couch of ours .. We went out and bought new furniture finally .. Its so nice I wish you could see
I don’t know why I write you . Like you are still alive , Maybe its just my way of saying goodbye .. Having my feelings realeased and not telling everyone what I am feeling .
Its hard to believe you have been gone almost a month . I just feel so lonely I go to your old room and just sit wondering what happens after you die , are you a spirit ghost did you go to heaven … Hell? Were you reborn there are so many questions I have that nobody can answer
So many days go by without me noticing they are just there
Harold has been a great help to me .. I was surprised he handled everything and everyone so well
Mom is having such a hard time right now .. Her guilt of her past is eating her up. She don’t know how to deal with all this she really wanted you to move to the coast with her , and with all the hurt and pain she has already been through in her life I just don‘t know if she will ever be the same.
Gloria is having a hard time also .
I think its mostly because se never took the time to know you . I think she still wanted to but it hurt her because she couldn’t forgive our past.
I wish I could get a hold of Charlie I only wish I knew where he was .. As so I could at least let him know .. Maybe call Danny Norton and maybe he would call back one of these days .. If nothing else just to know he is still alive and let him know what has happened .
Margie she is herself never the same or predictable . She shows her feelings by hurting everyone else and acting irrational and outrageous maybe one day she will realize what she has done to hurt us ..

Last night was New years we all stayed up until midnight , Tylind was so cute he kept Yelling HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!! I think he had fun we sat in the doorway with a big blanket around us and listened to all the fireworks and people yelling ..
Hope this is a better year .. I am going to take better care of myself and my family.
Its going to be a hard year because I miss you already ..

13 years later I think I miss you even more ..

[Rita]

In December, Jepsen's housemate, Brent Lee Mock, 22, was shot and killed. Jepsen was arrested for being a felon in possession of a firearm and for drug possession.

BUt he was released in less than 4 hours

[Pharmer Phil]

Thanks for sharing Rita...Very touching...brought tears to my eyes

[ghoststomper]

Thanks for sharing that Rita .

[Sonya]

Reminds me of letters I used to write to loved ones that have passed...Somehow makes you still feel close to them even after they've gone...Big !!!

[Christy]

Helps to write to someone if ya cant talk face to face. that was very heartwarming n sad. **

[Shelly]

Very touching, Rita. !!!

[Rita]

after 13 really 12 and a few months(but who's counting) years I have dealt with this .. took me a while??? but really I am Fine with this now .. Thats why I shared it
as things ended up well my husband at the time well was an x for a reason and I left him the next year for many reasons .. one of which was telling me what the "F" you crying about he was nothing but a piece of "S" anyhow fab person there .. I do believe after 4 years I Finally finished my mission as in finding all my family .. I was adopted when I was 9 but me and my sister were kept together but my brothers were taken to different homes .. My Older brother I couldn't find .. I finally found him and let him know 4 years later ... and that was my mission and I accomplished it ... I HATED telling my family what had happened and really at first it made me sick ...