Post by boohoo222 on Feb 26, 2012 9:40:59 GMT -6
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the
house - mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting
the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty,
covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes,
T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of
tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement
project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get
something to help complete the job. Depending on your age
you might do the following:
In your 20's
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow
dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean
clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of
your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might
meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And
you went to school with the pretty girl running the
register.
In your 30's
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and
shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need
for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check
yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your
favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running
the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school
with.
In your 40's
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is
long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.
Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your
bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty so you don't want
to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself
in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy
young thing running the register is your daughter's age
and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
In your 50's
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt
off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you
don't want to get dog poop in your new sports car. Check
yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt
anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the
register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you
still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from
Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got
Worms'.
In your 60's
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore.
Hose the dog poop off your shoes. The mirror was
shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have
underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.
The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't
have your glasses on so you are not sure.
In your 70's
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot
until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too.
Don't even notice the dog poop on your shoes. The young
thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her
of her grandfather.
In your 80's
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again.
Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to
Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it
is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone
called out your name. You went to school with the old lady
who greeted you at the front door.
In your 90's & beyond
What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden?
Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it?
Did you? Who farted?
house - mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting
the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty,
covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes,
T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of
tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement
project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get
something to help complete the job. Depending on your age
you might do the following:
In your 20's
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow
dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean
clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of
your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might
meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And
you went to school with the pretty girl running the
register.
In your 30's
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and
shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need
for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check
yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your
favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running
the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school
with.
In your 40's
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is
long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.
Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your
bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty so you don't want
to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself
in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy
young thing running the register is your daughter's age
and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
In your 50's
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt
off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you
don't want to get dog poop in your new sports car. Check
yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt
anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the
register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you
still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from
Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got
Worms'.
In your 60's
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore.
Hose the dog poop off your shoes. The mirror was
shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have
underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.
The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't
have your glasses on so you are not sure.
In your 70's
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot
until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too.
Don't even notice the dog poop on your shoes. The young
thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her
of her grandfather.
In your 80's
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again.
Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to
Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it
is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone
called out your name. You went to school with the old lady
who greeted you at the front door.
In your 90's & beyond
What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden?
Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it?
Did you? Who farted?
