OMG Really ??????

[Diane]

  I need to vent,,,
with out going into a lot a detail ~at least I'll try to keep it short dtb,
There is a chick at work,33 yrs old  Tall, thin, pretty but not gorgeous, is an attention seeker with all the men. She never invites the ladies to lunch only the guys, IF a guy declines she goes after him creates issues with his work performance,  time management  etc,, as a result, one guy that declined her invite she had fired thru false accusations, another guy ( again a great worker)  quit couldn't take it any more,
We've watched her do this over and over again, Finally I'd had enough of watching her go after people, and put her in her place, firmly but kindly I let her know to leave people alone and stop fabricating problems that don't exist.
She started working there a year ago, with no past experience in our field. Now a year later she is operations Manager of our dept. Yep slept with the boss, is a cry baby, is a flirt, is a lucie goosie for lack of a better word. She manipulates the Boss, with her emotions,  with Drama queen performances. She exaggerates what she  repeats people say and adds her own tone to the statement changing the statement completely.
I for one  let her know if she repeats any thing I say, use the exact words, with the same tone, don't add to it or change the tone PERIOD. Well now she is after me because I "wasn't having it"  The entire dynamic of the work place has changed.
 My Boss knows I'm a hard worker, dependable, seasoned with  experience, Yet I know he can be manipulated by her.He is recently divorced after 27 years, and is going nuts with dating  much younger women now,seems he has lost all logic and business sense and doesn't realize the negativity is stemmed from her lies, fabrication, manipulation, emotional outbreaks and throwing others under the bus. Everyone is fighting with each other, nick picking, and irritated.
I made this up  and printed it out  and placed it  at my work station,

Exaggerated Drama = attention seeker for self serving reasons.
Motivated by ~ usually to harm another.
Intention of end result ~making themselves come out smelling like a rose.
Reality~ all roses have thorns.
Fact- feeling amused at people that think I don't know what they are doing

she is  so dumb ,, she said,, ohhhhhh is that about the mother of the boys you have?
I said UHHHHHHH NOOOOO,,  
her...  OH,, what does it mean??
 I said,,   OMG Really???
 She said,, well just keep it there  I'll get it someday .
 ******

Lawrd have mercy !  Geeeeeeeeez,,

[Penny]

Oh wow, that's tough Diane......I would keep a journal and document everything, no matter how small you think it is, and even if its about someone else. That way if push comes to shove, you have info to back you up against her.

Would any of the other co workers be willing to talk with the boss? Is there a boss above your boss, or is he it? If there is a boss above him, perhaps a talk with above him should be in order?

If you are going to start documenting her, every little word exchanged with her, write it down, too bad you couldn't tape her, and present that to the boss.

Here's hoping that he gets his head out of his @ss and drops her and quick before she does anymore damage to the moral of the office.

If she likes sleeping with everyone in the office, count your blessings that your not a man!!!

[Diane]

we all have talked with the boss,, the HEAD boss is rarely there and when he is there we only know it after he left, he never comes back to our area. Many of us have been documenting stuff for a couple of months now, the one that got fired went to the Texas work force commission and filed a case, that may take 2 plus years.
Hopefully my boss will wake up soon and smell the coffee instead of just her perfume o_0

[jerseycub]

Diane: First question, How big is this company? do they have a HR department? As a past manager myself I do know there are many forms of sexual harassment, one is the actions of someone making advances toward a coworker for advancement or special favor. If there is more then one person present when that occurs, it is there responsibility to report these actions to HR immediately. Also harassment can take other forms, such as false accusations or slander of ones reputation or character. As someone said you should be keeping a journal of these events with dates and times and who was present. Also are there others that are willing to verify what you have been witnessing?

Don't be the advocate for everyone else, just keep these incidences to your self unless they directly effect you personally. Keep in mind that this person is a trouble maker and knows how to manipulate the boss,don't take for granted that she is as dumb as it appears. That could be part of the act. Play your cards under wraps,and see who the loyal players are in your corner. Last thing though. If there is a HR department and person in this company, those incidents should be reported by everyone that was present.

Good luck, I wish you well. I will tell you that my wife was a manager for a bank many years ago and was being sued by a past employee who accused her of prejudice, and if she hadn't kept such good record of this persons work record she would have been sued for more the one million dollars. Turned out it was dismissed, and Ruth was commended for keeping such good record.

[w8in4dave]

Wow! That makes it tough for everyone!! So sorry you have to deal with this!! Can't you talk to your boss about this? It puts everyone in a position that they will not want to work there any longer. That is just sad he is mixing personal with business. Sad sad situation, Daves Boss did that (before dave went to fords) and it was tough but then the guy died so well place fell apart anyway. I was glad Dave wasn't working there any longer. But everyone started to leave because it was interfering with daily work. You go to work to work! not be involved with drama and crap from people playing games. Keep that stuff at home! It's hard to work around people like that! Hope things get better for you!!

[jerseycub]

I just want to reiterate that there are labor laws in place to protect people from this sort of harassment,times have changed and things like this just don't go away without being proper handling and punishment. If there are enough people that will come forward and verify these actions it could become a big problem for the company itself,so it would be in there best interest to put a stop to it right away.

[Diane]

There is NO HR dept JC,, total maybe 35 employees,, most people that work there is because they know someone that works there and is 'connected in',, The chick wasn't there today,, so at lunch we ALL invited the Boss out for lunch,, we ( reserved a banquet room in a restaurant)
We had a great talk, everyone was calm, and articulated our concerns, I spoke for only my self, and all others did as well. 1/3 of them admitted seriously looking for another position in another dental lab, as ours has become too negative and stressful environment to work in since SHE became operations manager of the removable dept.
Some of them even had their journals they had been keeping and read from them.
Boss was not aware of a lot of the stuff that was going on, the look on his face told us all he truly wasn't aware of some of it, and admitted to have dropped the ball with not keeping to the structure and moral of his duties as boss. He asked for our forgiveness and admitted we all were like a family before he promoted her, and could 'feel' the change in the air, that he sensed the dynamic of the dept had changed and was at a loss of what to do about it, if not even embarrassed for his actions or lack there of depending on the situation. He asked that we (if possible ) trust him to take care of the situation as he wants the family atmosphere back.
He stated he has seen many crucial mistakes she had made and has had to talk with our Dentists( our clients) to straighten her mistakes out so we would keep their business. He said he will speak with her about her haughtiness with fellow employees. And from now on her lunch time will be different than his and the rest of the employees so at least someone will be there to answer the phones at all times.That way No one could go to lunch with her and the guys don't feel pressured into going with her as they all admitted they did for fear of what would happen if they didn't.
SO obviously she had been making mistakes on the business end of it we employees wasn't aware of, that He kept mental note of, He mentioned several critical mistakes she'd made ( yep some of the employees were taking notes all the while he was speaking),, lol
He realizes we are all dependable good workers that make a conscious decision when we walk in the door to have a great attitude, put out quality work , and that we are like family that Works hard, loves hard, fights hard and loves hard again, we've always supported each other and helped each other out whether its for food, the bills, gas money, baby sitting, what ever the need is we help each other, and lately we've all been bickering due to the negativity she brings to the place.
One of the fellas straight out said,, FIRE her then,, LOL,, In the state of TX you can fire someone and not HAVE to give a reason, and that she can't be that Damned good that you would just jeopardize a great team for your removable dept, o_0
One of the guys also said if something isn't done he's making sure the owner finds out as he will anyway when the lawsuit goes thru. That it's better he knows NOW what is going on then later,, because that would even put your job on the line.
Boss couldn't deny that for sure!
It was a good lunch, with a great group of respectable coworkers, speaking like family that truly cares about each other.
WE shall see what this next week brings, I know he was put on the spot but he really needed a wake up call not just a nudge.
I believe he was humbled by our discussion and it brought him back down to earth enough to see the light and that he's been acting foolish behind her.
again,,,,,,,,, we shall see,

[w8in4dave]

Wow!! Wonderful to hear Diane!! When I said talk to him I ment you!! But seems the whole dang place did! Good that way if anything eles goes on it won't be that he is "not" aware. He will understand if someone quits and such. I hope he wasn't blowing smoke so to speak. But sounds like he knew something had changed. Good luck!! Hope it all gets better!!

[Diane]

w8in I just figured if a few of us talked to him ( at least those of us that took notes and all the notes were different based on personal experiences with her) it would have a greater impact, Next thing I knew everyone was asking to can they go to lunch with us as well, not as a spectator but as a participant with voices of concern, so we all went as a group our Whole dept, and a few from another dept,, ,, the only people allowed to go outside of our dept were the two guys and a couple of women that had negative experiences from her... any one else could not go as the intention of our lunch was to discuss the issues at hand, so everyone else totally understood
Oh YESSSSSs we all did say he hoped he wasn't just blowing smoke and handing us a pacifier,, he assured us he wasn't,, he is taking control back,, I can't wait to know what the owner says about the potential law suit from the texas work force commission representing the guy that got fired,, The owner doesn't even know about that yet,, YIKES!,,

[jerseycub]

Oct 25, 2013 18:12:28 GMT -6 Diane said:

w8in I just figured if a few of us talked to him ( at least those of us that took notes and all the notes were different based on personal experiences with her) it would have a greater impact, Next thing I knew everyone was asking to can they go to lunch with us as well, not as a spectator but as a participant with voices of concern, so we all went as a group our Whole dept, and a few from another dept,, ,, the only people allowed to go outside of our dept were the two guys and a couple of women that had negative experiences from her... any one else could not go as the intention of our lunch was to discuss the issues at hand, so everyone else totally understood
Oh YESSSSSs we all did say he hoped he wasn't just blowing smoke and handing us a pacifier,, he assured us he wasn't,, he is taking control back,, I can't wait to know what the owner says about the potential law suit from the texas work force commission representing the guy that got fired,, The owner doesn't even know about that yet,, YIKES!,,

I think your supervise would be crazy to ignore you guys after that luncheon discussion, he is now been put to notice that there are many employes aware of the problems this lady has caused. It is in his best interest to end the relationship with her (If any) and also to put her at notice that she is being watched very closely. There are very serious ramifications that could come from harassment suits.

You and your fellow employes made a very wise decision to handle this in the manner that you did. Lots of collaboration,leaving no single person at risk. GREAT JOB!! Give yourself a pat on the back for me.

[w8in4dave]

Yes thumbs up!! Handled very well!!

[Diane]

thanks for your listening eyes you guys,, sometimes it just helps to vent to outsiders looking in, ,,

[Penny]

Absolutely, I am so glad to hear that he's listening, and its pretty hard to dispute claims of many, and not just a couple, its sad that it had to get to that point, but at least you've all got his attention.

And for gods sake.....DONT DROP YOUR GUARD....still document everything, every little comment, remark, conversation, just in case!